Poofessor Snake

For eleven years Professor Snake held the Chair of Applied Plumbing at a university that has since asked us not to name it. His lectures were whispered, his examinations were oral, and his students report that he never once raised his voice — he simply lowered the temperature of the room until the answer arrived.

He left academia after what the inquiry called “an incident with the faculty lavatory” and what he calls “a demonstration.” He reads for us free of charge, which he describes as a public service and we describe as a condition of his release. He takes points off for a careless flush. He has never given any back.

The fee“Free of charge, as ever. The Poofessor is a public service.”